Nature salad

Ah, a delightful romp through the wonderland of woke word salads, served up with a side of familial drama and a dash of holiday spirit. Let's break this down with a healthy dose of humor and unapologetic truth, shall we?

Family gatherings

First off, our protagonist, Andrew Hernández, bravely enters the lion's den of family gatherings, ready to joust with Uncle Bob over social justice issues. This time, it's Affirmative Action on the chopping block, with our valiant author defending it as a noble effort to level the playing field for those oppressed by the ever-nefarious "white folks."

Uncle Bob, however, dares to suggest that maybe, just maybe, humans naturally divide themselves into groups, like races. Oh, the horror! Such blasphemy in the church of wokeness! But before Andrew can unleash his sociohistorical sermon, he's rudely interrupted by a cousin's lighthearted anecdote. The nerve!

Separate biology from behavior

Andrew then embarks on a quest to debunk the mythical beast known as "human nature." He charges at the windmills of genetic determinism, swinging his lance at the so-called "warrior gene" and social Darwinism, all while lamenting the historical misuse of these ideas to justify all manner of social ills, from racism to patriarchy to classism. Because, as everyone knows, biology has absolutely nothing to do with behavior. It's all just a big misunderstanding, like thinking your goldfish can do your taxes.

But wait, there's more! Andrew delves into the murky waters of human origins, pointing out that we're not just fancy chimpanzees with smartphones. He insists that all those complex traits that make us human were already in the bag before we started globe-trotting and diversifying. So, skin color, hair texture, and all those other pesky differences? Just window dressing on the grand storefront of humanity.

Socially construct any human you like

Then, we get to the meat and potatoes: breaking down "human nature" into digestible bites. Race, gender, sexuality, and class – all just social constructs, easily reshaped like Play-Doh in the hands of a toddler. Because why accept the boring old notion that biology might play a role in human behavior when you can blame everything on white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism?

In the end, Andrew urges us to rethink human nature, to see ourselves not as innately violent, competitive beings, but as cooperative, compassionate creatures, sharing and caring our way through history. Because, as we all know, humans have never been known to fight, conquer, or oppress each other. Nope, it's been one big global kumbaya festival since the dawn of time.

Ignore history at the holidays

So there you have it, folks. A delightful journey through the looking glass of woke ideology, where everything's made up and the biological points don't matter. Let's all hold hands, ignore thousands of years of human history, and pretend we're just misunderstood angels with slightly better fashion sense than our primate cousins. And remember, if you ever find yourself disagreeing with Uncle Bob at the holiday table, just scream "social construct!" and everything will be fine.