Turns out, self-control beats safe spaces and government-funded wellness apps

Dick Van Dyke — yes, still alive and kicking at 99 — just gave a masterclass in old-school wisdom that would make modern wellness influencers cry into their oat milk. Instead of blaming "systemic factors" or waiting for a government health grant, Van Dyke did something radical in his 50s: he admitted he had a problem, then quit drinking and smoking like a grown man. No victim narrative. Just common sense and grit. And now he's 99, still wisecracking and outliving most of his peers — including Walt Disney, who chain-smoked himself into the grave. Dick even admits quitting smoking was harder than alcohol, proving he had to battle real demons, not "toxicity" on Twitter. Meanwhile, today's culture tells people their trauma is eternal, self-discipline is oppression, and they need therapy for being offended by a joke. Van Dyke’s message? Get over yourself, drop the vices, and maybe go dance in a field. He refused to let bitterness or aging steal his joy. It’s almost like joy isn’t something the government can mandate — it’s something you choose. Read the article and take notes before the FDA decides nicotine gum is a hate crime.