Boeing hearts Obama

Ah, Boeing, the poster child for the “too big to fail, too cozy to question” philosophy. Let’s crack this open, shall we?

First off, Obama, the erstwhile Salesman-in-Chief for Boeing, probably had his tongue so firmly in cheek, it's a wonder he didn't need medical attention. He's jesting about getting a gold watch for being a top Boeing salesman. Hilarious, right? Except, in the murky waters of politics and big business, it's less of a joke and more like a wink-wink nudge-nudge situation.

Too connected to fail

Then there’s Boeing, strutting around like the high school quarterback who’s also the principal's son. Too big to fail? More like too connected to fail. They're not just a company; they're a behemoth with tentacles wrapped around the military, civil aviation, and apparently, the hearts and minds of politicians.

But wait, there's more! The Boeing 737 Max saga – a series of tragic crashes due to a cocktail of corporate arrogance, regulatory laziness, and an “oops, we did it again” attitude. The FAA, supposed to be the watchful guardian, turned into Boeing’s lapdog, nodding along to whatever the big B says. And when the proverbial poop hits the propeller, suddenly everyone's playing the blame game.

Obama and Trump, different as chalk and cheese, both found common ground in their love for Boeing. “God bless Boeing,” they proclaimed, conveniently overlooking the tiny detail of the company’s planes nose-diving out of the skies. It's like cheering for the Titanic because it's big and impressive, never mind the iceberg ahead.

Boeing's piggy bank

The Export-Import Bank, or as some like to call it, Boeing's personal piggy bank, is just the cherry on top. Helping Boeing sell planes overseas, it’s like a parent holding their kid's lemonade stand, except the lemonade costs millions and sometimes falls from the sky.

Now, Boeing’s culture shift from quality to profit is like a Greek tragedy, minus the togas. The old Boeing, the pioneer of air travel, is lost in the maze of profit margins and stock prices. The result? Planes that are less “fly the friendly skies” and more “roll the dice and pray”.

And those internal Boeing emails! If they weren't so tragic, they'd be comedic gold. Engineers calling their work clowns supervised by monkeys? It’s like a fast-food joint admitting their burgers are made by raccoons. Not exactly a confidence booster.

FAA breaking up with Boeing?

Finally, the FAA is now playing catch-up, trying to fix a relationship that should've never been broken. They're talking about re-examining their oversight practices, which is code for “maybe letting Boeing mark its own homework wasn't such a great idea.”

In the end, it's a cautionary tale of what happens when industries and regulators get too cozy. It's like letting a fox guard the henhouse, and then acting surprised when you're left with feathers.